I Needed To VENT So I Sent A Few E-mails to my friends

Ok... so I know I'm jumping the gun, but at this particular moment I feel really mad and it's making me sick. Isa, she is someone who works with me, just told me that she saw a bonus in her direct deposit last night that it was more than usual. It went into her checking. So I checked mine, called my bank and discovered I didn't. So either they are just giving me a check and didn't put it in direct deposit or I didn't get anything at all. I mean is it because I was only here since Oct? That would be pretty fucked up, because though I'm new here so is everyone else.Everyone else has been here like for 9 months, I mean commmmmmmmmme on you don't have to give me as much but at least a little something if you're going to give it to everyone else.

OK... I'M STILL JUMPING THE GUN, BUT NOW I KNOW THE RECEPTIONIST GOT IT TOO AND SHE'S ONLY BEEN HERE FOR LIKE 5 MONTHS, ANNNNNND SOMEONE WHO WAS HERE ONLY A MONTH BEFORE ME GOT IT TOO. SO KNOWING THE OWNER 7 YEARS, THIS IS A SLAP IN THE FUCKING FACE TO ME. I AM LIVID. I FEEL LIKE CRYING, I MEAN I KNOW IT'S A BONUS I DON'T HAVE TO GET ONE, BUT WHY THE FUCK DID EVERYONE ELSE GET ONE. PLUS, THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE WHO STARTED ON THE SAME EXACT DAY AS ME, I CAN'T ASK HIM,"HEY BY THE WAY DID YOU GET A BIT MORE IN YOUR CHECK TODAY?" I HATE THE FUCKING HOLIDAYS!!!!

I SWEAR I THINK I'M GOING TO VOMIT BECAUSE THIS BIG AXE IN MY HEAD IS FUCKING ANNOYINGLY TURNING MY STOMACH.

THE WAITING IS DRIVING ME TO A FUCKING AGGITATED NERVE. I'LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN THEY HAND ME MY CHECK THAT IS DIRECT DEPOSIT, AND IF THERE'S ANOTHER ONE WITH IT. I ASKED THE GIRL WHO WAS HERE A MONTH BEFORE ME, "IS IT A LOT OR IS IT JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING?" SHE SAID "YEAH IT WAS A LOT MORE" I AM GOING TO REALLY START TO FOCUS ON THIS OTHER JOB I HAD MY HOPES HIGH FOR. WEIRD, LAST NIGHT I HAD A DREAM THAT I WAS HELPING THE OTHER JOB WITH THE NEXT AMERICAN IDOL AND I HAD ASKED WELL HOW OLD DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO ENTER THEY SAID 25 I WAS LIKE WHAT HAPPEN TO 28? THEY SAID OH THAT'S ONLY FOR TODAY TILL 8PM. SO I WAS LIKE OK CAN I TRY? OR DO I HAVE TO GET ON THE END OF THE LINE? THEY SAID NO, WE ONLY HAVE 4 YOU CAN TAKE THE 5TH SPOT RIGHT HERE, AND THEN SOME DUDE COMES IN THE DOOR AND STARTS SINGING. THEY JUDGED HIM AND GAVE HIM A 1. I WAS LIKE OK I'M READY THEY SAID NOPE. THE 5TH ONE ALREADY SANG AND I WAS LIKE BUT YOU GAVE HIM A 1, I PROMISE YOU THAT I AM THE ONE FOR THIS. THEY SAID "NO YOU CAN'T TRY" THEN I WAS PISSED OFF I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND. THEN I WAS LIKE WHAT ABOUT GIVING ME A JOB BUT THEN THERE WAS A WOMAN AT THE TABLE WHO I SUPPOSEDLY WORK FOR (BUT OF COURE IN DREAMS IT'S SOMEONE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW) AND I JUST WALKED AWAY WITHOUT GETTING AN ANSWER. SO I WAS IN A SCHOOL HALLWAY AND UMAY, THE GIRL I WORK WITH TURNED AROUND AND SAID "THE ONLY REASON THEY DIDN'T MAKE YOU SING IS BECAUSE THEY TOLD ME THAT THERE WERE PRETTIER GIRLS THAN YOU THERE" I FUCKING FLIPPED. I WENT BACK OVER THERE AND SAID FUCK YOU, WAIT AND SEE WHEN I'VE SIGNED A CONTRACT AND I WILL!I'LL BE A FUCKING SINGER! AND NOW I COME TO WORK TO THIS BULLSHIT.OH WAIT!!!! I JUST SAW ACCOUNTING, THEY ARE HANDING OUT THE CHECKS....DRUM ROLL PLEASE!!!!!!!! I ONLY GOT MY CHECK!!!!!!!!! THAT'S IT. THE GIRL WHO WAS HERE FOR A MONTH LONGER GOT TWO CHECKS. I'M GOING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS. PLUS UMAY(MY TEAM MATE) DIDN'T GET ONE EITHER, SHE'S BEEN HERE FOR 10 MONTHS, BUT SHE'S PART TIME.(SHE COMES IN 9 TO 5:30 AND WE EVEN STAY TILL 6. SHE'S PREGNANT SO WHEN I FIRST STARTED SHE CAME IN AT 11. SHE HAD REALLY BAD MORNING SICKNESS BUT THAT'S ONLY TWO HOURS OF THE DAY SHE WAS MISSING BUT SHE WOULD STAY TILL 6 AT TIMES. SO HOW THE HECK IS THAT PART TIME?) WHY? BECAUSE WE'RE ADMIN. ASSISTANTS? WHAT THE FUCK?? THE RECEPTIONIST GOT HERS. IT MAKES NO SENSE. WELL IT'S ONLY A BIT AFTER NOON. I STILL HAVE TILL END OF DAY. I SWEAR IF THEY GIVE ME A BOTTLE OF WINE I'M EITHER CRACKING IT OVER THEIR HEAD OR DRINKING THE ENRTIRE BOTTLE AT MY DESK. HMMM... MAYBE A GIFT CERTIFICATE... MAYBE NOTHING. FUCK'EM!

HOLD UP... BREAKING NEWS...I JUST HEARD FROM THE CUBICLE NEXT TO ME THAT SOMEONE IS WALKING AROUND WITH ENVELOPES AND HANDING THEM OUT. LET'S SEE IF THERE'S AN ENVELOPE WITH MY NAME ON IT. I'M WAITING...STILL WAITING...OK THE FREAK SAT BACK IN HIS FUCKING CHAIR IN HIS OFFICE, HE DIDN'T COME BY MY AGGRIVATED CUBICLE. WE WERE SUPPOSE TO HAVE A COMPANY LUNCH TODAY, I GUESS THAT'S WHAT WE ARE GETTING INSTEAD OF A HOLIDAY PARTY, WHICH HONESTLY I DON'T CARE FOR RIGHT NOW. I RATHER GET A BONUS THAN A FREAKING HOLIDAY PARTY, BUT I PROBABLY WON'T EVEN GET THAT. UHHHHHHH I HATE WAITING.(I KNOW, I KNOW ELIZABETH HATE IS A BAD WORD)BUT I DO NOT LIKE WAITING, OH CRAP HE JUST WALKED PASSED MY CUBICLE ARRRRRG. CAN I JUST THROW MY STAPLER AT HIM? PLEASE??? HE WENT BACK INTO HIS OFFICE. THIS DAY IS JUST RETARDED. DAMN IT I'M THIRSTY THERE'S NO MORE WATER IN THIS TINY CUP. I HATE IT! I HATE EVERYTHING RIGHT ABOUT NOW. I LEFT MY CELL RINGER ON HIGH JUST TO BE ANNOYING. SOMEONE CALL ME CALL ME NOW RIGHT NOW!! HOW ODD, THERE WAS AN ANNOUNCEMENT OVER THE LOUD SPEAKER THAT THE LUNCHEON HAS STARTED AND TO PLEASE START COMING INTO THE CONFERENCE ROOM. AWW HOW NICE, LUNCH ON THEM. THAT'S NOT THE KIND OF CALL I WAS ASKING FOR!

ALL I ATE WAS A BIT OF A SALAD (I STOCKED UP ON THE OLIVES)AND A DISGUSTING VEGETABLE SANDWICH WHICH I SPLIT WITH UMAY. OH AND THEN I HAD AN ARUGLA. NO HANDING OUT BONUSES THOUGH, MAYBE THE'LL GIVE IT OUT AT FOUR WHEN WE HAVE OUR HOLIDAY TOAST.

I ALREADY FEEL MY THROAT CLOSING ON ME, I WAS JUST INFORMED BY ISA THAT NOT EVERYONE GOT ONE SO SHE CALLED THEM BASTARDS. SHE SAID IT'S CONFIRMED. WHEN SHE ASKED SHE ALSO ASKED WITH HER HEAD NODDING TOWARD OUR DIRECTION AND ACCOUNTING TOLD HER YEAH THEY DIDN'T AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. SO I’M GUESSING IT’S JUST ME AND UMAY WHO DIDN'T GET IT. UMAY SAW THE DUDE GIVE AN ENVELOPE TO SOMEONE ELSE HERE. THIS WHOLE THING IS NOT MAKING ANY SENSE. I'M GOING TO WAIT FOR 4:30 AND GO UP TO ACCOUNTING AND ASK ON A PERSONAL LEVEL ABOUT IT. WHY IS THIS DAY DROPPING A BIG PILE OF ELEPHANTS SHIT ON ME? HOW COME THE RECEPTIONIST GETS A BONUS AND WE DON’T, I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND. UMAY HAS BEEN HERE FOR 10 MONTHS, TRAINED ME AND EVERYTHING, EVERYONE ELSE HASN'T BEEN HERE AS LONG AS SHE HAS. THE RECEPTIONIST DESERVES A BONUS AND SO DO WE. WHAT THE FUCK?

OK it's 4:08pm no over the loud speaker announcement to go into the conference room for a toast. Delay delay delay...honestly I think I'm not getting anything. Total slap in the face. I feel hurt, feels like there no acknowledgement of what I do. That's what it really comes down to. I'm more mad that Umay didn't get anything. Where the heck is that announcement?

Ok so the announcement was made, now I'm sitting back at my desk finishing the rest of my white wine because I ate to many Pringles. So they made a toast. Woohoo. After that I go to accounting and I find out that I don't get anything because I'm on that three month probation shit, it's only two more weeks for it to be three months, but what really pisses me off is that Umay got jack shit. Kiss my mother fucking ass!!! ANOTHER FUCKED UP DAY!