Time Screwing With Me

So, Hope and I make another plan to see a studio -- another studio.We had to meet at 8PM. I got out of work at 5:30PM; I honestly didn'tfeel like taking a 45 minute ride on the train to go home only to getin a car to go back from where I came from. I asked Joy who is in thecubicle next to mine, if she wanted to go have dinner. So we did. Weget on the train. It was only suppose to be a 15 minute ride. 45 minutes passed and we were lost. Sitting there laughing we finally find the right train and get out of the station.

Walking to Café Habana, Joy pointed to the corner saying that we are almost there.

“Where? Where those people just walked out of?”

“Yeah, right on the corner… good thing there’s no line outside the door, we’ll get a table quick.”

These two men pass us by as we approach the Café. They were good looking too. I really need to start putting my glasses on because from far I thought they were two women. They both had long hair, one had dreads on his dirty blonde hair and the other one I think had dark straight hair, he had a hat on, but they were really nice to look at. Two white boys part of Soho. I would love to meet a man with that Soho style. I’m not that type of woman who likes to see a man in a suit. I actually hate that shit! It’s fine for work, but once you’re out, take that shit off!! I’m that type of woman who likes a man who has an artistic style.

Joy walks in first as the velvet curtain is stuck on my bag that is on my back. There was so many people in this little whole. I was hoping that the food better be worth it. I was so hungry. We advanced from waiting by the door to the bar, which was only five feet away, but that put us at the front of the line. The place was so small, no matter where I stood; I was always in the freaking way. We were fooled by people who kept getting up, thinking we were going to have a table, Those shmucks where just taking a walk either to the bathroom, (for the life of me I don’t know where the heck it was, there was no room for one) or just to go outside to make a call or smoke a cigarette. Finally two people leave and the waitress is showing us to our table.

We checked every person on the way to the table to finally be crowd free for a millisecond. We sat in the corner of this intsy bitsy place. The table was the size of a chessboard and it was either everyone’s ass or elbow in Joy’s face. The table next to us, which was actually a cm next to us, had two guys sitting on the same side as Joy and two chicks on my side. It seemed as we were one table. They must have been Australian, but I kept thinking they just wanted to be cool and try and speak with an Australian accent. The guys kept looking at us, smiling and giggling. Not sure if they were talking about us or they were just retarded.
It was 7:30 and our food arrives. I scarf down my food and was still hungry. Joy was satisfied and I was contemplating to get something else, it was hard, I don’t eat meat. We ended up getting dessert instead. My phone rings.

“Ok, are you ready? Come out.”

“Wait, wait my dessert is coming. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

“Ok, hurry up I don’t want to be late. Funny shit, this studio is only three minutes from here, I looked it up on Mapquest.”

“That’s awesome, so we have time.”

We got lost.

It was get lost day I swear. I hate downtown. I can only understand where the heck I am with numbers. Names? You can forget about it. I’m lost. The street went into a fork and we beard to the left instead of right and let me tell you one block made a big difference. So our three minute ride ended up being 15 minutes. We find parking and the doors are numbered as if they were numbered by someone who’s dyslexic.

“45, here it is.”

“What apartment is it?”

I think she said 3B or was it 3D. Doesn’t matter. On the elevator ride up to the third floor I start to ask questions about the person who has this studio.

“So, what’s this dude’s name?”

“His name is Tomas.”

What else could I do but make fun of the name.

“Toooooooooooooooe moss?”

Hope walked out of the elevator in front of me and walks right back in behind me and pushes me hard to get out almost hitting the wall. The dude was standing right out side his door with the gayest smile. He definitely heard me make fun of his name and still he smiled like a dodo. He greets us and holds the door open for us.

What was up with this day, the restaurant was the size of my cat’s litter box and now this studio – not really a studio but a damn apartment, was smaller than my kitchen. Once again I had no idea where the bathroom was, where the heck would there be space for it? So, we walk in three feet into the apartment and WHAM, there’s his bed!! UNCOMFORTABLE was not an understatement. His work area, which lets just say is the studio, was right next to his bed. His desk was right next to his bed. I wouldn’t be surprised if he hit his forehead on it in the middle of the night. Toe Moss had his computer and a mother board in the proximity of two feet. That’s how big his darn studio was. He had an oriental screen with sound proof foam in it. So he would close it into a triangular shape to prevent any sounds, can we say claustrophobia? There really wasn’t any room to be in it and have a mic. It really wasn’t sound proof with the top being open. It was just eerie. The three of us sat there, Hope and I were sitting on two chairs probably older than our mothers as he sat on his computer chair. We listened to Hope’s songs and explained to him that she needed it mixed and mastered and wanted to do a few new vocals on one of the tracks. Then we listened to some of his work. Hope had seemed to like it; I would just nod my head and give some criticism. When we finally left I had told her that there is no way she is going to work with this dude, especially with his bed right there. She agreed.

We headed for the car and didn’t have a clue how to get home. There was a crowd of people standing outside this restaurant we were parked in front of. So me and my big mouth blurted

“HEY! Do you know how to get the Willy B?”

As they all turned around, Hope and I discovered that they were all Chinese. I was so hoping they spoke English. Thank goodness they did, one of them come over to the car bending over and starts giving directions. The crew started laughing at us, I had to be a pain and play with them.

“WHAT’S SO FUNNY HUH?? YOU FIND THIS AMUSING???”

“Nah, were laughing at him. He’s got IBS”

“Oh, so is that why your standing that way, you have problems shitting?”

He picks one leg up and pretends to blow a fart, “Yeah, you see I can’t” implying that he couldn’t fart.

He tried giving directions but kept getting interrupted; he was drunk, but funny. He had asked us where were coming from.

“So where are you coming from, work? Where are you going now? What are you up to?”

“We were just checking out a studio and we’re going home now.”

“Really? A Studio? We’re going karaoking, why don’t you guys come? You can sing? Are you singers?”

Hope and I answer in unison “Ummm uhhh yeah” as we looked at each other.

“Oh come on you have to hit a note for me.”

“NO, you sing!!”

“Ok ok give me an artist”

Hope tells him to sing George Michael. He’s astounded, “Wow, that’s my favorite artist, how weird is that you picked him.”

So he starts, he’s squatting on the floor holding on to my open window.

(Singing) “uhhh” it sounded like he just took a dump, “it would be nice if I can touch your body……”

I almost choked. He was good but he kept “uhhing” in the entire song, funny shit.

So I turned to Hope and she didn’t want to go, I told her that she’s always complaining how she doesn’t get to live a city life. Go to work and then just go straight out in the city. I convinced her.

“OK, only a half hour.”

“Fine.”

We went I sang he sang and finally Hope sang My Immortal. The crew was a bunch of fun lads; we had the singer, the one girl who was hanging with all 10 men and the dancer and then the stripper. Well the stripper came once he had one to many. Overall we had an awesome time, laughed my ass off, wait I don’t have an ass, and exchanged numbers. To top it off they were pretty cute too. It was all friendly and fun. The half hour became 3 hours. I’m telling you, time was totally screwing with me that night.