Behind The Yellow Line

Mia got so drunk and I actually yelled at her as if she was a little girl. We all said we were going to make it an early night, because we all knew I was getting picked up at 5:30 in the morning to go for a little trip. It was 4 am and we were an hour away from home. I was trying to get out of the place since 3 am. You know how it is when you have a drunk on your hands (not only did I have one I had at least 3), they don’t want to leave, they try to escape and giggle their way to the bar. They grab someone and dance. They are having a blast, but they are not listening to what you are saying. They don’t want to listen and that gets you mad.

I get to my house at 5:31am I had no time to sleep, no time to wash my face, no time to brush my teeth. I walked in and changed and left Mia on my bed to sleep off the liquor.

I was going to visit someone who is in jail. The only way you can see them is if you are in their (Jail’s) system and well it’s like an appointment. So you have to make it there on that day. It was an hour and a half maybe even 2 hours away from where I lived. I got in the back seat and asked if I looked presentable. They said I did. I staid up for maybe 20 minutes and told them that I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I laid down, but kept waking up during the ride. At one time I got up and I was told I sleep with my eyes open. That’s the second time someone has told me that. My eyes aren’t completely open, they are slightly open that you can see my eye and enough for me to see you. I get there and I knew it was going to be a struggle.

I can’t have anything on me but my id and money. I go through a metal detector and have no problem, they didn’t even notice the big safety pin I had in my ear. That my friend can do some damage. We get stamped and we have to go through another door to put our hands under a black light where we have to wait for the guy behind the tinted glass to say

“GOOD”

Then we can move ahead without knowing who the man is behind the glass. We go through another door and we enter a room that looks like somewhat a cafeteria that only had brick red plastic chairs side by side. I look around and I see inmates waiting for their visitors. I felt at ease. I felt loneliness, their loneliness. So finally the person I came to see came out. I hadn’t seen him in 7 years. He was thin and looked completely different. Before I entered the visiting room I felt like crying, but once I saw him it didn’t want to come out. He was at the wrong place at the wrong time. That’s his story. I sat there wondering what it his inmates committed to be there. I had seen them there with girlfriends and their babies visiting. It was sad. I felt bad for these guys. They did something to be here, but then I thought about my friend and said he didn’t and there could be others like him there.

There were vending machines. We bought a whole bunch of food, there were microwaves to heat them up. We got chicken sandwiches and drinks. When we showed him what we got he said…

“Oh don’t you worry, I’m going to dog them.”:

I watched the way he ate his food. It was sad, it was like a treat to eat the food from the vending machine. He hasn’t had a home cooked meal in 7 years. He hasn’t had a life for 7 years. I would ask what the story was with some of the other guys there. He would tell me. Most of them were in for little things, nothing to hold my purse close to me, but my purse was in the car. I felt all the pain in them all. I was trying to see who really deserved this punishment. I couldn’t tell. I didn’t want them to find me staring at them.

When I had first walked in an officer told me to tuck my shirt in, I must have been showing some skin. Always me. Always get picked on or reprimanded when I’m not even trying to do anything wrong.

We took photos, my friend had a receipt that we were going to take 3 pictures. They had a backdrop and we stood there smiling for the cameraman. Everyone was staring at us. I thought they could probably tell I was on no sleep. It made me feel as if I looked like shit.

Every time they had to go to the bathroom they had to wait for an officer to let them in and have them watch them. My friend went to the bathroom twice and the second time he had to strip down. They couldn’t pass this yellow line that was by the exit so if we had to give our hugs it had to be behind the line.
We had one chicken sandwich left. I hate my nasty $5 salad and chewed on some sour patches we got from the candy vending machine. We wanted to give it away. We tried to give it to the guy who does my friend’s laundry, like a payment. That’s how it is in prison. He didn’t want it because he was full. He was very grateful for the suggestion. Finally we gave it to the guy who was sitting in front of us with his family, he was so happy to get it, I could feel his tear that wanted to come out. We said our goodbyes and promised I would write and send pictures and come visit again. It was hard, but I knew he’ll be free in 5 years. 5 years to go and counting.