Do you know what I love?? Well of course you don’t. One of the things I love is the smell of the heated pavement on a hot summer day that has just been drenched with the rain. It’s weird how it brings back memories of my old house as a child. Like sitting on my stoop and watch the rain as it hit the awning. Thunderstorms were so soothing to me. I loved doing that when I was a child and till this day I still do, but I don’t live in that great house anymore, which by the way my mom thought was hexed. I remember walking out in the rain barefoot and just walking around the outside of my house. Now, I hardly get the chance to do that. I can’t tell you exactly when it was, but it had to be probably a month or so ago, I did walk in the rain and it felt damn good. The only reason it happened was because I had no choice. It started raining and well when I parked my car I realized I had no umbrella. I felt something come over me. I felt young again. I felt all the crazy things in my life evaporate and as I walked out of my car I started walking in the rain. I always wanted to walk in the rain real slow with a guy and now as I’m older a man. To hold hands not saying a word to one another. Then we would chase each other and bend over holding our stomachs gasping for air from laughing so hard.
Tonight it is raining and here I am stuck in my house. Thing is, tonight I really want company in the rain. So as you can see I don’t have any, and instead, I’m typing this up.
I had an interesting weekend. I realized that I haven’t picked up my black book. My black book is my lyric book where I create all the magic. I got very upset thinking about it because I’ve come to disappoint myself. I haven’t written a song in a long time, and to tell you the truth I have put my writing into something else. My friend the place is…. HERE! For you! TO READ! I have written over 50 songs and there were times I would write at least 2 or 3 songs on my train ride home or on my way to work. I start my new job next Monday and I had promised myself yes that is correct I made a promise to the most important person to me well that should matter to me. And that is me. It’s about time I think about myself and listen to my dream. I would love to share my songs with all of you out there, because that is the main reason why I write them, well besides the part of me singing them and getting radio time on it, it’s for you, all of you out there to listen to. To relate to, to sing to. To go gaga over me. Ok no not really. But I can’t, I can’t share that part of my life with you, because you see, we have fuckers out there and those fuckers like to steal. They like to steal someone’s dream and make it their own and say
“Hey lookie here, look what I came up with all by my lonesome stealing fucking self.”
Ok they don’t mention the stealing. Poof my dream is gone and well no one wants to do that to Cia Fai, because Cia Fai will torment you and welllllll chop each finger off your stealing fucking low life piece of shit hands and wellllllll make you suffer till you bleed, TO DEATH. Then, I’ll sing you my happiest song I’ve written. So this is the end of this blog and I will write about the rest of my weekend on other blogs because I know I have the tendency to write way tooooooooooo much and your eyes probably get tired and blah blah blah oh wait am I still typing??? STOPPED!
Monday, August 08, 2005
DO YOU KNOW...
CiaFai, that would be pronounced Cha-Fai. I’m not that ordinary female. I'm deep and sometimes people don't understand me. I'm artistic and eclectic. I’m always thinking, a disease I can not get rid of. If it’s not thoughts of a song that I’m writing it’s about the world and how people affect me in this place we call home. I love being me, because everyone isn’t surprised if I do anything crazy or out of the ordinary, they sort of expect it from me. I’m sensitive, strong, and I was told that I’ve got a great sense of humor and a heart of gold. I’m very intuitive to everything and sometimes it scares me. You might think I’m crazy, I really don’t give a fuck!
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