Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The Anger Inside
The Anger inside me does not escape. It's a problem. It's not a problem to get angry, it's only an emotion that is part of being a human. My problem is that it never escapes me. One thing can get me so upset and it turns into anger. It always ends up that after one thing it's always another and that is why it never escapes me. It lingers inside, like if my body wants to dwell on it. I need to get it out. Even if I think about the situation it brings me back to the exact feeling I had when the situation happened. The feeling is strong and stays. Then when I get upset or mad it just brings back all the things that have scarred me from anger. It's all a psychological thing it happens to everyone, but they probably don't even realize it. That will happen until I have resolved that problem that has made me so angry, but I can't seem to get rid of it. I'm sick and not only is it because of my low immune system, I think it has a lot to do with the stress that enters my life that I try to ignore that it is actually stress and then there is the anger that is stuck inside me. It wears me out. I need to go somewhere and just relax, I need a flush. I need a cleansing. I need help.
CiaFai, that would be pronounced Cha-Fai. I’m not that ordinary female. I'm deep and sometimes people don't understand me. I'm artistic and eclectic. I’m always thinking, a disease I can not get rid of. If it’s not thoughts of a song that I’m writing it’s about the world and how people affect me in this place we call home. I love being me, because everyone isn’t surprised if I do anything crazy or out of the ordinary, they sort of expect it from me. I’m sensitive, strong, and I was told that I’ve got a great sense of humor and a heart of gold. I’m very intuitive to everything and sometimes it scares me. You might think I’m crazy, I really don’t give a fuck!
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