The Selfish, The Fool and The Wool

 I’m really going to try and help myself right now and let everyone else live their own lives. Just as they are right now, without me. Thoughtlessly going about their day. Walking around from place to place with no thought of what is truly going on. Maybe even a little whistle. They don’t care because everything is dandy in their world that they've created in their warped mind, where nothing is there to bother them, no nuisances. They don’t care about you. They are selfish. They think there’s no problem and expect to come right back as if nothing happened. Selfish. I'm going to subtract myself. Why should I hold the weight of someone else’s lack of insight of what is truly happening? Not caring what I’m feeling and just go about their day. Who is the one hurting and thinking about it all? The fool. Which would be me. So now I’ve taken the ropes and live my life the way it was before them and keep going. You do you, I’ll do me. Drama. Who the heck still creates drama? We’re too old for that shit. I’ve never experienced this before and I think this is why I’m so hurt and angry. It’s exhausting. I actually realized it when I felt the weight holding me down. I’m too exhausted to have that life. They go on their day like you don’t exist. You do the same. I can’t have drama dragged to my table. Those who’ve hurt me do not deserve the satisfaction of hurting me. I have to keep saying my mantra “Not my life, Not my problem” when I feel them draining me. It hurts to let go of those I really love, but this pulled my eyes wide open. I will not have the wool over my eyes from this point on. They honestly don’t care about me; they brought selfish to my table. I will not have anyone else drain me. I don’t deserve it, and now I will walk life with letting go. It’s okay, we can talk about what’s going on in your life. We don't always need to talk about me, because your voice needs to be heard too. You are the one who is sitting next to me. Not those who walk by selfishly. So, how’s life?

Rosa's Smile

That annoying saying, "Her smile lights up the room," is out the window, but this is a true statement for a selfless woman. Every single breathing creature can validate that. It's not just a smile that exudes from her; it's her soft touch, yet a strong voice. There was joy deep inside of her, even after the world shattered her heart so many times. Her loud laugh alone would put a smile on everyone's face. She'd bring out the happiness of those around her. Her loud voice, singing old Sicilian songs, brought a rhythm to everyone's soul, even though she wasn't very good at it. That didn't matter; it was her love that made her sing perfect. There was always light wherever she went, especially with the blinds down. You literally felt comfort  instantly.

 

No Hope

 How do I know where I stand, when you sat me down.

#selfworth #answers #absence #mentalhealthmatters #lettinggo #nohope #life #done #youdoyou

You Got To Go!

 Why do I have to make everybody happy. FUCK THAT. What about how I feel? It doesn't matter, I'm not going to pretend, just to make everybody happy. No way no how. I don't live life this way. Why can't everybody make me happy? Go see where you go to go!

Sun...Moon...

The air was in between heavy and heavier. The sun darkened every room. The moon would brighten the street with a tint of blue in an iridescent way. It sheltered the earth as if it was a huge linear fluorescent bulb. Why do I have to make the sun bright? Why can’t I keep the night alive with the moons light? Why does my entire being need to be shutdown, to have all others feel that the warmth is the answer? The neglection of the moon's light dimmed to turn into a new moon that made the streets blind. No matter what, the moon's light is never bright enough for them. It doesn’t fit with the warmth that they think it needs to come from the sun. Neglect me, the moon and my feelings. Life is not all sunshine and rainbows. Realistic expectations need to widen our eyes. The moon matters too. Remember that. The sun and the moon will always be opposite of one another, always, but they also need to love and respect the inner light that holds their feelings. I am here do not neglect me and diminish me. What if I wanted to do that do you? Let us just sit in our different lights.