I Will Be Found

My four year old niece is just amazing. The most intelligent child I’ve seen so far and it’s not because she’s my niece. There’s something exceptional about her. When she was just a few months old my sister had her in a high chair and put wooden Velcro fruits on the try on the high chair. My sister would separate them and mess them around so they would be scattered. My niece would put them together and put them to the correct other half making a whole fruit. It was amazing to watch. I had said

“She’s a prodigy child.”

So now at 4 she has and has been for years having full conversations. She makes up her own songs and cries to movies. She even has a boyfriend. They hold hands. How cute. I had called her on her birthday, February 1st, and sang Happy Birthday and told her how much I love her, she didn’t say anything. Before she got on the phone my sister was telling her that she can only go over the neighbors for 10 minutes. So when I was done singing and confessing all my love for her she stood quiet.

“Hello, Elizabeth? Did you hear me? I sang Happy Birthday and said I love you.”

“Yeah, I know… but I really have to go now, I only have 10 minutes to go play over by Tom’s.”

I almost fell. I laughed and told her I loved her again.

I can’t really remember if it was before her birthday or after, my youngest brother calls me and when I’m usually on the phone with him he sometimes sings one of my songs I wrote, well only half of the chorus. He sings it so often, my niece picked it up. He put her on the phone and they both sang to me. Now, these lyrics are sure not for a 4 year old to be singing. I almost cried. The greatest feeling about it is that she understands what they meant. From that day on, I tried to remember the song I wrote many years ago. I couldn’t remember for the life of me how it started or the rest of the lyrics. I had to call my brother back a few days later and we both were boggled. Then he said something that triggered just a little of the past. I went nuts to look for the lyrics. I finally found the original that I wrote years ago, the page was already turning yellow and felt so soft. I tried to sing it, but the melody wasn’t there because my brother had the wrong melody and that of course was stuck in my head, it only made it harder to remember what I did with the lyrics. So a week or so later, which ends up being last night, I went looking through my tapes that I had recorded myself singing. You know the one that you make up a melody or just try and sing it like ten different ways and don’t record over any of them? Those. So I put in tape #1 and it was my friend Mia. We decided to send each other audio tapes instead of writing letters to one another in High School. I almost pissed on myself. I called her and we both laughed and couldn’t wait to sit down together to listen to the whole thing. Then I went through so many other tapes and was amazed on how I sounded and the memories it brought back, as I sang along in harmony. Then I found it!! I was so happy and kept rewinding it to my favorite part that I like to harmonize. It was the greatest feeling and while doing all that, I realized, I’m not such a bad song writer, lyricist, and of course an amazing singer. Not to sound conceited, but I impressed myself and that gives you such a rush. I was actually proud of myself and at the same time upset that I have gone nowhere with my music when to me, it’s better than all that crap on the radio. One day I will be found.