I'M SHARING THIS WITH THE WORLD!!

You see, this blog that you read day to day, is like my personal diary. There are times when a little girl and even grown women have diaries in their life. Just think about it, how great would it be to be anonymous and write about your life and what is going on around you and get comments on it. It’s some what like therapy. An outlet to let go and walk away feeling lighter. It’s comfort when someone out there enjoys your writing and can either relate or give you some advice. I love to write, there are times when I can just write a fictional story, but why do that when my life is a story and a half in itself? This is my life and I want to share it with the world and of course the world does not know who I am because I am anonymous. You see, I am a very friendly person and make tons of friends, but once a friend crosses me they are out of my life. Even if Frick was still in my life as a friend, I would still share this story with the WORLD!!! No one knows who I am and no one knows who he is. Just a guy on CiaFai’s blog. Every single time he tells me to fuck off or curses me out he adds a lol to it. BUDDY we know he’s not joking. First of all I did not send out his text to everyone! I wrote about it in my live internet journal. For the whole WORLD to read. Strangers read this and are intrigued by my writing, that’s why they are on my blog, wanting to know what else is going on CiaFai’s crazy world. So if he can’t take the heat then step away from the flames. Read on WORLD to the email Frick sent me.

“hey CiaFai ,very cute the way you sent my texts out to everyone.lol.just wanted you to know that when you sent my happy b day i was in the middle of changing a flat tire and def. not in a good mood.especially when a month ago i had a great girl who would have done anything for me,but i lost due to the fact i have a heart of gold and was taken advantage of from the cries of a woman (i once truly loved.her shallowness kills that love ) who would not let up about how she was going to kill herself if i did nt help in someway.sometimes in life when you try to do the rite thing it just never is.so basically i by my own choice spent my b day by myself.only because i wanted to see who out of the two were going to not be shallow.like i say moving on is the easy part.look CiaFai i really dont care whether you believe me or not but here is the truth.no one in this world wants to be used when they only try to do the right thing.Hope broke up with me in jan.so guess what .i moved on.same as i have anbd will again .she could nt handle that and brought me down with her misfortunes again.and did everything in her power to try and make me feel like garbage again.the new girl who i dont blame didnt want to know anything about it.so basically once again i got screwed.but thats it. no more .cause noone in this world will ever break my golden heart( not to mention theres alot of cats out there.lol.)its way to strong for any kind shallowness .i moved on before guess what .im moving on again .its like cancer you see.its all has to be removed in order to stand tall.unfortunately i will always know in my heart that i never betrayed any of you.you guys both let me down.Hope for being wicked and you for telling me and her that i was i had wicked intentions never.you do remember that conversation dont you.how i wanted to control Hope by opening up a recordng studio,sorry man thats not me.nor my style.i dont kill life. i create it.theres a sun on me for a reason it gives life.so when i hear shallow commits like that it really sickens me with disgust.it would do the same to you.or if im uninvited to a party because hey i might be dangerous or something that makes me sick as well.just a mis understood guy who never hurt any woman .never would. never will.just a good guy who will always keep on smiling with good intentions and will always keep on growing.maybe you can understand that one day.maybe not.i know one thing true friends never look at me as a bad soul.and thank god i got alot of them to remind me.oh and guess what-never opened your email about not calling Hope until after you uninvited me.like i said CiaFai im standing tall again shining some sun and getting rid of all the cancer.people got choices ya know .you can be part of the cancer.or you can grow in the sun.once again im sorry for cursing you but still i never got an appology from you especially about the controlling thing that was very shallow of you.guys like me who come from nothing dont blow 20 gs on someone because they dont believe in something.so guess what. you telling me and my other half at the time that it was done out of control .........hurt like a mother F------r.(can you say alterior motives)and mindy asking one of my frinds if i was dangerous hurt as well.and my supposively good buddy not clearing my name was deciteful as well as hurtfull.every one s got alterior motives except for real people prove me wrong.my buddy who didnt clear my name just wants me as his going out buddy because he knows im a blast thats the only time he calls .the same way you all do.remember this advice that i give there is big difference in this world from genuine determination vrs obsession.i got the determination thing down pact if you got that too then you would understand.but for now my determination is all on me def. not shallow people.obla di obla da .take it as you like .an appology with honesty .ta ta honestly staying away from all negativity just moving on.p.s. make sure yousend this one to the world too.only a real friend would do that rite .lol.and no i definetly dont want anyones pitty.just maybe a genuin appolgy if not well then im cutting out the cancer.hey guess what dont make me send this one out to everyone oh thats rite im real would never do that...prove me wrong CiaFai”



He tries to make up excuses for his outbursts. If I had a flat tire on my birthday, as I was changing my tire and get a text from my friend wishing me a Happy Birthday, I would never tell them to fucking eat me! It would put a smile on my face and it would make me feel a whole lot better. Then I would call them and tell them to help me. Can’t he see he has a lot of anger inside himself? He says he apologizes. He says that I said he’s trying to control Hope with buying a studio for her. Okay let me let you in on the situation. Hope wasn’t happy with Frick anymore. She tried telling him numerous times that she wasn’t happy and didn’t want to be with him. She even told him that she didn’t love him. So, what does he do? He loves the girl so he will do anything in HIS right mind to keep her. I mean I understand that, he loves her, but he took it to an extreme. He tries to work things out with her. She’s scared now because she knows he’ll go crazy. He fills her head up with great ideas of building up a studio for her so she can do her music. At first she said no, but he kept drilling it in her mind how it was a great idea. Gullible Hope went along with it, only making it a harder break up. So I told her, if you are not happy with him tell him. Tell him it’s over. Come on I’m her friend, even a therapist would tell her that. She was sucked in with the studio. She needed a studio, what singer doesn’t. She tried at the relationship, but it wasn’t going to work. Again, it only made it harder. I saw my friend suffering, I saw what was going on. Yes I did say controlling to her. I told her, Hope can’t you see he’s holding on to you because of this studio, it’s control. He has control over you.

And why does he have to keep telling me he has a heart of gold? He doesn’t need to prove anything to me, he keeps saying it, because he’s trying to convince himself everything he does is all out of good. Well telling me to “BLOW ME” is not something a person with a heart of gold would say and continue bad mouthing me and on top of it build lies. Yeah he apologized, but deep inside he still did wrong and he’ll continue to. He did it every single time with Hope. That’s why she accepted his apologies and her gullibility took the best of her and killed it.

Yes Hope made a big mistake the night she called Frick for help. It was something she was use to. Of course he’s going to go to her. Any one would have. They did go out for 2 years. BUT!!! That was a mistake, it was his way back in. She wanted to try and be friends with him, but you know how it goes it can’t work out like that all the time. She called him as a friend. She was so drugged up and needed comfort. She kissed him and she swore to me that is all they did. He on the other hand told me they had sex. She hates herself for kissing him. That’s Frick taking something and stretching the truth. That’s why there are times I feel like I shouldn’t listen to his whole story, because some of it is true and well 85% of it is the stretching.

Frick says Hope broke up with him in January. So why the crazy texts still being sent to her by him in July? How is that moving on?

So we let him down. What about him letting us down with his, as Hope put it, abusive texts when she told him numerous times to stop. Stop showing up at my house 6 o’clock in the morning. Stop following me everywhere I go. Just STOP! Him not listening and not respecting her wishes is letting us down. She’s my friend and when she is hurt, I’m hurt. Then to top it off telling me to Blow him.

He doesn’t kill life he creates it. Is he trying to say I’m killing his life? GROW UP. You’re girlfriend of two years broke up with you 6 months ago because she didn’t want to be with you. Not because I was there for her through the miserable times she tried telling you it was over. It’s not my fault she doesn’t want to be with you. It’s destiny. You weren’t destined to be together. That’s it!

He was uninvited to my party because I didn’t want any drama! Never did I say dangerous! He got the D word all stretched out! Can you see what he does with peoples words. Negative assumptions dwelling inside him.

He never hurt any woman? Okay not physically but emotionally. If he listened to what Hope was telling him, he would have seen how he was killing her inside. So you see, he also kills the life inside Hope not create it. Oh he didn’t see that one coming. Hope cries telling me that he damaged her soul. To me that sounds like he’s not creating life.

A bad soul? Once again he labeled himself that. I never said that and would never say that.

20 g’s hmm the number all of a sudden hiked up. He wants an apology? For what shedding light on the truth. NOPE no apology coming out of this mouth. He should grow up and be a man and realize it’s not only him who has feelings. He needs to listen to everyone else’s feelings too, so he can understand what his words and action mean to the other person too and not just to him.

Ok now why would Mindy be asking Frick’s friend if Frick is dangerous? Must be because he said something to her about the past relationship with Hope, oh yeah that’s right he told Mindy all about the night Hope swallowed some pills. Instead of comforting her he should have taken her to the hospital to get her stomach pumped and not let this new girl that he’s dating about getting with his ex girlfriend. No girl wants to hear that. Of course she left you!!

Buddy not clearing his name? Well there must be a reason!

He’s trying to give me advice??

“remember this advice that i give there is big difference in this world from genuine determination vrs obsession.i got the determination thing down pact if you got that too then you would understand.but for now my determination is all on me def. not shallow people”

Obsession is blowing up peoples phone with nonsense! That’s including mine and Hopes.

So guys guess what? I’m CANCER according to Frick. Like he said to me, FUCK OFF!

Of course there had to be another email and I hope he finds this sharing with the world - My internet live journal diary- intriguing.

“and just one last thing because i know you are probably sharing this with the world.hope will always be in my heart the same way all the other woman i loved in my life are still.its not something that i can control.some might see that as a down fall but i personally see it as a gift because i have and will continue to love many in ways that no one else can understand or compare.so please do not befoul me or ridicule my actions ever again.”

BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! WELCOME WORLD, TO MY BLOG! I WALK AWAY FEELING LIGHTER!