La Mia Casa E` Tua Casa

It’s almost time to go back to NY, but before I think about home I sit here in my parents back patio eating dinner with my sister, brother, niece’s and nephew. My parents and aunt and uncle who are here visiting from Rome are at the Casino blowing there money away. I know there will be no big winner coming back home. We just don’t have that sort of luck. I cooked bow tie pasta with sautéed cauliflower and cauliflower salad and cucumber salad. I almost killed everyone with all the garlic in the cucumber salad. I loved it, more for me. My brother was sitting diagonally across from me. As I stuffed my face, I watched my brother checking out his own reflection from the sliding door behind me. He was flexing his anorexic looking 6’3” body. Ok he’s not that thin, but he has no fat on him at all. I almost choked on my food. No one else paid attention but me. My 4 year old niece was on a burping roll and my sister was looking face down in her plate not taking a second to come up for air. My niece Eryn was sitting next to my brother but some how she didn’t realize he was making these crazy wanna be muscle head flexing moves. My nephew well honestly he was just enjoying his food and I was happy he was eating. I didn’t say anything for a while and thought he was just going to stop. Well he didn’t. He kept checking himself out from his reflection and when he would talk to us, he was actually looking at his reflection. I thought that was hysterical. I asked him why he was talking to his reflection.

We continued to eat and there he goes flexing again. I couldn’t take it. I nudged my sister and nodded my head toward my brother. So there he was flexing and me and my sister were laughing. He flexed again, and my niece got grossed out and said

“What is that?”

I told her that it was only his collar bone. Then I almost fell of my chair from laughing so hard.

My sister decided to share a story with us.

“I remember one time when he had one tit. It’s like one tit developed and the other one was flat. It was big too.”

I asked how big it was.

“Was it as big as yours? A size D?”

As she was talking under her laugh… “No, no not that big.”

“Well was he as big as me?”

She was laughing so hard I never got an answer, but she continued with the story… asking my brother

“What happened? You have one tit?”

So my brother had answered.

“I’m working out.”

We all almost died. Funny fucking shit.

So my brother started his own story that when that happened he had to keep his one hand on his flat tit every time he went to the beach trying to talk to a girl.

I told him you dumb ass you should have said you are pledging allegiance to the flag or maybe just put a towel over that one tit.

We all laughed at him and with him. It was a great dinner.