Can You Handle It?

Friday, February 18, 2005

First LOVE Taught Me How To Define Love

Every morning on the train, I hope to find a seat. Once I sit, I take out my black paged book. I write and I write. Lyrics come to mind and I jot them down. People look at me as I count the syllables on my fingers wondering what the heck I’m counting. Today I started to write a song about falling.

I try to write universal, and my friend never believes me when I tell him that certain songs are things that I have never experienced or that has never happened. I’m surrounded by so many people and see things deeply and feel what people feel. As if I’m in their mind and body. I take that gift and write what they are going through. But this one time, today, I wrote about myself. Emotions of falling in love with someone I didn’t expect to feel for and then the hard part of not being with them. Though how heart broken I am, I wrote and still am writing about, how I finally breathed in a bit of falling in love and how I understand now what that feeling should feel like. I always say, there’s always a meaning why you’ve met someone, and it’s either to learn from them or teach them. In this incident it was for me to learn. I learned that there is such a thing to go deaf in a loud room. I learned that a kiss is everything, though I already knew that, this time I actually felt it. I learned that not everything that is in front of you is evidently yours to keep, no matter how hard you hold on to it. It escapes. I have learned that if it is meant for me to be with someone I will once again feel what I had felt from and of him. Of course he will forever be embedded in my mind, but I strongly believe that you will never forget your first love.

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