Last Night

I went out Saturday night for Geoffrey the Giraffe’s birthday. I didn’t get home till 1:30pm on Sunday. I was supposed to go to a photo shoot with Hope. I was the make-up and stylist. Aren’t I such I good friend? I called Hope on my ride home, told her that I was on my way home and was going to take a shower. She told me that she cancelled her shoot and couldn’t believe I was awake and pondered on how I even got up. She got in at 7:30 in the morning and there was no way she could be photographed. So me and Mia went to my bedroom and went to bed after a little chatting of how our night went. We laughed and then Mia was snoring away.

Mia left around 2 or 3 pm don’t remember, my contacts were out. I couldn’t see the clock. I think I finally fell asleep around 4pm. I didn’t get out of bed till 8pm and only got up to watch the Oscars. Got a call from Geoffrey the Giraffe in the middle of the Oscars. I took my cordless and headed straight for my bed.

“You are not allowed out with us ever again.”

I laughed it off and answered, “What? What did you just say? I’m not allowed out with you ever again?”

“Yes, you are not allowed out with us ever again, unless you bring that cute girl with you.”

“Cute girl? Which one?”

“Mia, that cute girl.”

“Oh yeah, she’s is nice isn’t she?”

We bullshitted for a bit and talked about how I kept kissing him on his lips HAPPY BIRTHDAY when he was talking to Mia, it didn’t even faze him, he really wanted Mia to kiss him. Don’t get me wrong, it was a friend tap or two or three. I thought it was fun.

So we left it off that I had to talk to Mia to let her know that he had a crush on her. I had told him that she has a boyfriend and though they are having problems I doubt she would go for it.

He told me to try anyway.

I walked my way back to my living room, where my roommate was with his cousin and his two other friends, which one of them is my friend also. My roommate’s Romanian friend Addie was upset. Myles, who is my roommates cousin was last to come to the house and he picked Addie up a chicken calzone like he asked Myles to get him.

Addie was bitchen that there was no sauce in the calzone. He gets aggravated very quickly and starts cursing out like if someone just killed his damn dog. He goes into the kitchen returning with more aggravated curses.

With his heavy ass accent he’s bitchen, “Dis is all cheese, no fucken chickin.”

We all wanted to laugh but saw how upset he was. They tried calling the place back up, only because I told them to.

“Call the place up and tell them they made a mistake, they should deliver you the right order.”

Myles didn’t agree that they were going to deliver it.

“Just call them. Do you have their number?”

Myles didn’t have the number, “Call information up.”

Addie said there was no way he was going to call because he had to pay for calling up fourrrr one one. Myles supposedly doesn’t get charged so he called info on his cell.

The retarded operator didn’t know jack shit but gave him some number. He called and it ended up being a different pizzeria that had the same name, that pizzeria gave him another number to call. Long story short, they gave him the run around. Both numbers where wrong. Addie fed up called the one number and asked them for the correct number.

“Ello, I need ther number to the phone for the pizzeria on….”

And rambling he went with his heavy accent.

“…. Mother Fucker!”

I understood that they couldn’t understand him so before he told their mother that she was a fucker, I told him to give me the phone. Once I had his phone to my ear, they hung up on me.

He was about to flip out.

“When I leave, I go to da place.”

“You can’t go three hours after you got your food to let them know it’s not the right order, you have to go when you get your food.”

Addie put on his shoes and thank goodness put on his coat because he was about to kill everyone with the smell of his armpits. I swear when he comes over I think I’m in a gas chamber.

I told him not to curse them out and to be nice to the people, it was just a mistake. Well he went and called and had Myles talk to the guy behind the counter. I heard the entire argument 10 feet away. Addie told Myles that he threw the calzone at the guy. I told my roommate that if he comes back here, I don’t want to hear him yelling, I’m going to bed.
The man behind the counter was calling the cops so Myles had told Addie to get the fuck out of the place.

It wasn’t even my fucking calzone and I got all stressed out. I hate that shit, when other people get you stressed out from their problems. This calzone thing really wasn’t a problem and he made it to be this horrific drama. Word of advice; don’t let a smelly armpit immigrant bitch about his order in your house. Either the smell or the aggravation will kill you.