LUNCH

I just went to the bathroom, and as I smoothed out my eyebrow with my wet finger tip (I had just washed my hands), I noticed I had way too much foundation on my forehead. I guess the accomplishment of covering up the meeting on my forehead was captured; I had a vision flash in my head of me in a coffin. It reminded me of the way the mortician makes a dead person look. They always put way too much foundation and make up on the person, that they sort of look fake.

I have all this gunk in my hair now, trying to moisturize the scalp and the hair. Sounds exciting huh? Well, I decided that I’m going to wash it tomorrow and blow it out. I’ll inform you if I still have any hair left or just left with four strands of hair.

Ok it’s been a few hours since I went to the bathroom and noticed the creepy face in a coffin. I ordered Japanese food and it finally came. I went to the reception and noticed the bill was higher than it should be. I called up the place and was put on hold 3 times till this woman picked up,

“You placed order for delivery?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Oh, OK, what is your address?”

“I already place the order, I’m calling because…” I was cut off rudely with,

“Oh OK” and she put me on hold. No please hold, just put me on hold in my mid sentence.

BITCH I thought to myself. I fucking hate that shit. Don’t fuck with me, especially with food and when I’m hungry. I took the hand set and threw it on my desk to pick it up to just bang it on my desk. The first chick who answered picks up again.

“Hello, ok would you like to place order?”

I replied with a nasty “HELLO!, No! I’m calling about my order. I want to know why I’m being charged more.”

“Oh, it is 9.50 each.”

“9.50 each? My menu says 7.75.”

“No, it’s 9.50, the menu is inside bag.”

“I’m not looking inside the bag; I’m looking at my menu.”

“You have old menu, from 4 years ago.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know that? This is the menu I have here.”

“What does your menu look like?”

“I don’t know it’s a menu, it’s purple.”

“Oh , no you have old menu 4 years ago.”

I told her that’s not my fault. I was so frustrated.

“You know what? I’m about to tell your guy to take this back. My menu says 7.75 and now you’re telling me it’s 9.50. If I knew it was going to be that much I would have never ordered it.”

Umay and I had ordered together and she told me to just keep it.

“You send back?”

“You know what?” I was about to tell her YES! Then I just told her “Forget it! She wants to keep it. I’m never ordering from you again! Bye!”

“Oh, OK. Bye.”

I hung up. Collected money from my wallet and from Umay. Gave the dude the money as he stood there dumbfounded.

“You give me 22?”

I was already almost through my door, “Yes 22. They charged me more than I thought because I had an old menu.”

“It’s 20…”

I interrupted “I know 20.68.”

I know it’s not the delivery boys fault, but he had the fucking audacity to ask me for more money for his tip!! FREE DELIVERY mother fucker READ YOUR MENU OLD,NEW AND ANCIENT AND NEW RELEASE!!! That’s what I really wanted to say. I was already fucking pissed at this place, the dude is lucky he even got anything. I ended up paying 3 bucks more than I had to. I’m a broke ass bitch. So he better not turn around looking for a better tip after his damn restaurant was so rude putting me on hold while I’m still talking to them on top of putting me on hold 3 times before that. That place doesn’t have it together. So FUCK YOU DELIVERY BOY!!

I told Umay what happened and I said, he was implying that I should give more money for a tip.

I told Umay “He shouldn’t get a woman with pointy shoes pissed off, because I was going stick the tip of my shoe hard right up his ass! There’s your tip!

Don’t I have the right to get upset?? Fuck’m Fuck’m all!!