I... REAL

So I was told that I was beautiful last night. And it was by more than one man. I was surprised to hear those words come out of their mouth especially being in the surrounding I was in. There were beautiful woman everywhere, and I did not consider myself to be one of them. There I was in my Palermo baseball cap and jeans and a t-shirt, looking like an ordinary bum. All the other ladies were all dolled up. Nice hair, well put on make up and well just looking real sophisticated. And there I was a sore thumb out of the bunch. I was afraid to take my hat off, because I didn’t want anyone to see my roots. They all had great hair and a smile that would knock any guy off their feet. They all looked the same, and me well, I’m just different in general. That’s what made them think I was so beautiful. They told me that these women were in fact pretty, but I was beautiful and that I was real!

Help Me Help A Friend

Hello All,

Once again, it’s been a while. I have a friend who I’m trying to help out. She is one of my best friends and I’m always there for her through thick and thin. She is trying to raise money for the American Cancer Society Relay for life. Since I've lost my job, I've been wanting to do something good, so I did. I've donated and I'm helping her through this blog to raise more money. I will be by her side as well as her cousin as she walks with her cousin Joanne at her Relay. I will also be taking photos and be sure to post them to the site and let you know about this great accomplishment I will partake. So please help me help a friend. This is what she sent me through an email, please read her story. PLEASE DONATE!

I know I have sent most of you an email regarding the fundraising of Relay For Life. This is just a friendly reminder hoping you will donate. I know so many people whose lives have been affected by cancer, and I’m committed to doing something to help them. I lost too many special people in my life to Cancer and I want that to stop. I never got a chance to meet my grandmother Giuseppa (my mothers mom), because Cancer took her life away at 45. My fathers mother Grazia also died of Cancer, but I was lucky enough to have her in my life. Her son, who is my uncle Sal also was diagnosed with Cancer. When my mother came to America she made two best friends, Lucy and Maria. They were both like 2nd mothers to me. Cancer also took their lives away at a young age and left my mother scarred with no friends. At 26 they found Cancer cells in my sisters uterus, they found it in time and now she’s free from Cancer. My cousin Joanne was diagnosed with Breast Cancer at 34 and fought the fight and has been Cancer free for a year now. This disease is here to kill, and I’m here to help stop that. So please donate in helping to find the cure for Cancer. I could go on and on with my family from my Aunts, Uncles, cousins and sibling history of Cancer, but I wouldn't want to bore you. Maybe just this much will touch you to donate to this worthy cause. That’s why I'm taking action against cancer by supporting the American Cancer Society Relay For Life event.
Thank you

Stubborn

I know it’s been a while since I wrote, but I only wanted to write if there was something good and happy to write. I was searching for anything to make something sound happy, but I couldn’t find it. There’s a lot going on now. Too much, that I got lost in it.

Just recently, I spoke with my sister regarding the results of her exams. She took a stress test and an echocardiogram. Well, she failed her stress test. The echocardiogram showed she has a heart of an old lady. So of course, my sister being the stubborn person she is doesn’t really want to hear anyone tell her to go for further testings. She thinks that there’s nothing else to do. This world if full of technology, how can she say there’s no other tests to be done. She needs to look further into this situation, it not normal at 37 to have a heart of an old lady. That means there is something WRONG!

She keeps telling me that she is fine. Fine my ass! That the doctor told her that she needs to quit her job and relax more and exercise. So instead she is going to cut her hours and see how it goes from there. I told her to take short term disability or medical leave at least for a month, so she can really relax and that I would go down to Florida and stay with her for that month, but she keeps insisting there’s nothing really wrong that she is fine. There’s more to it I know, because I doubt when you walk into a cardiologist office and they find that your heart is acting over 20 years than your age, I doubt all they are going to say is relax and exercise.

I remember visiting my brother Martino in the hospital in December of 94`. I walked into his room and he wasn’t in his bed. I was frightened, thinking something bad had happened. I walked in a bit more and found him in the guest chair reading a book. I was relieved. You see, my brother Martino never really told us that there was something seriously wrong with his heart. He had us under the impression that it was something minor. So, we didn’t worry and that is what he wanted, for us not to worry. In his mind he knew, he knew that his life was going to be short and he tried to make the best of it. On that visit my brother and I walked into the corridors of the hospital and went over to the counter where they had all the monitors for all the patients on the floor. It was the cardio floor obviously. The nurse pointed to one of the screens and said

“This is your brothers heart.”

And I watched his heart beat on the screen. She then pointed all the way to top of all the monitors and said

“This one is an 80 year old woman, her heart is better than your brothers and your brothers has a heart of how a real 80 year old woman should have.”

Till this day, I don’t know why that didn’t hit a trigger in my head telling me, Cia Fai, there’s something really wrong with your brother he is not well he’s going to die and die soon. All I remember is being in shock and how my brother made is seem like there was nothing wrong. I looked at my brother and anyone would see he looked fine that there was nothing wrong, but deep inside his heart was dying. He needed a new heart and we didn’t even know. Now, my heart is broken and well it can’t be fixed and now, my sister.My sister bringing me back to memories that frighten me that the same thing can happen to her. My brother had died a month and three days later after that visit. Why must she be so stubborn?