MONKEY ARMS!!

I was playing MENO DIECI with my mom and sister. That would be MINUS TEN (card game) in English. It was hot in the back patio. My dad being the carpenter he is, closed in the patio that once went out to the underground pool. He put up sliding doors and well there goes a new room. With three ceiling fans being still I started to feel the heat. I was sitting at the table facing the pool as I watched my two 13 year old nieces and 4 year old niece and 9 year old nephew swimming around and of course arguing. It brought me back. I thought about the days when I was doing something of that sort and watching the adults playing cards inside, thinking to myself that they were so much older and well in my mind was old. So there I was watching myself get old. I started laughing. Shared that with my mom and sister and told my mom that it was hot as fuck in here. My dad was in the family room watching television and the switch for the ceiling fans where in that room. The most common sense thing to do is put my cards down and go into the family room and hit the switch right? Well not when you’re lazy. I screamed out to my dad.

“Lagnuiso, mette i fenni” “Lazy put on the fans”

“Lagnuiso tu sei lagnuiso mette I fenni!!” “Lazy, you’re lazy, put on the fans!!”

Why is it that it makes more sense in Italian and funnier?

So we all laughed giggling like little kids.

My mom gets up for some reason and I screamed out for her to turn on the ceiling fans.

She hit the switch and the fan was on it’s first slow as fuck speed and there was no difference in the temperature. My sister puts her chin up to the air and says

“Ahhhh so much better”

I laughed so fucking hard. My mom got back to the table and laughed along. I couldn't even speak and when I laugh I lose all strength in my hands that they just hang there. I laughed so hard telling my mom and sister that if someone would to throw me a million dollars right now I would be fucked. Then I made the gestures of moving my arms around with my hands limp, I sort of looked like a seal. So the giggles got the best of us and we couldn’t stop. My mom tried to pull the string to put the ceiling fan right above us to a higher speed, she couldn’t reach, my laughing stock sister tried and couldn’t reach for it. I sat in my chair dying, gasping for air because I was laughing so hard. So my mom turns around and says…

“CiaFai, accende tu i fenni perche tu hai le bracci lungi come tuo padre, pare come un monkey.”

Ladies and gentlemen this is 101 Sicilian. I am Sicilian but I speak Italian, but when I joke around I speak in Sicilian which you see above. Some Sicilians love to say a sentence with a bit of Sicilian and one or two words of English but add an o or an a to the end of it. That would be the older Sicilians.

Let me translate.

“CiaFai, turn on the fan because you have long arms like your dad, their like monkey arms.”

I almost fell off my chair. MONKEY ARMS!!!