LADY

Before I left for Florida, I had asked my friend if she could baby sit my car. I couldn’t keep it by my house because of that stupid alternate side parking bullshit. By the way, they do a horrible job cleaning the streets, do they even come around? I mean come on, those people who drive those big trucks don’t really come around I’ve never seen them. The reason I know is because I have no life and stay home during the hours they are supposedly cleaning the streets. That’s what happens when you have no job. So they never come around and you forget to get up and move your car and get a nice big ticket. Not fair. So my friend agreed to have my car by her house since she doesn’t have alternate side parking. When I came back, I had a friend drop me off by her house to pick up my car. I found it and I found a lot of bird shit on it too. I was thinking I should think positive, it’s good luck. Good luck my ass! People only say that so you don’t feel bad. My car has been shitted on what’s so good about that? So as I was driving back home with no windshield wiper fluid, I was hoping I wouldn’t get into an accident. Even my front windshield was covered in bird shit. I took my baby to the car wash. She came out and well looky here, bird shit still on there. What the fuck do these birds eat?? I mean even the acid spray they put on it didn’t take it off. I was so pissed. My car is going to be ruined. How the hell does bird shit not come off especially with acid??

I’m outside watching the dudes wipe her down and spray a lot of the acid on the shit, as I was watching I saw an old elementary school friend’s mother walk by with her grandson. It was my old elementary school friend’s son. I can’t get over how everyone is even married now. Having kids, well that’s another crazy thing, I still feel like we’re still young, but we are not. I greet her and she is happy to see me, like always. I asked if that was the son of the boy I went to school with. It sure was. He was crying because he wanted his mommy. She was holding a cup of vanilla ice cream from Carvel with a spoon hanging in it. She took a dollar out of her pocket to give it to the crying boy, he must have been 3 or 4 years old. He didn’t want it, so she put it back in her pocket and he went right for her pocket like hey what are you doing, that’s mine. So she went back into her pocket and gave him all the money she had in her pocket so he can stop crying. He took the money but kept crying. Guess that didn’t work. I tried talking to him to calm him down, I had his attention but still he was upset. She said,

“Look, the lady is saying hello, she’s daddy’s friend from school.”


LADY??? Holy crap I was just called LADY, it felt so weird. I was wondering if she couldn't remember my name, that might be the case. Funny. I told her to tell her son I said hello, she will relay the message. Let’s just hope she remembers my name.